Artistic License

I enjoy editing other people's work, but I am less than thrilled about editing my own.

Who told you you could change my story that way? What kind of a God do you think you are, telling me Monica and her dad shouldn't be in conflict? How dare you say the mention of dementia was abrupt? Finding out your mother has dementia is a pretty abrupt discovery. Sure, tell me to cut that grocery store scene, I didn't like it much anyway, but no I'm not cutting the end! That's the whole point of the story! Too bad more than half of you didn't like it... But those who did like it said it was fantastic and... no. I cannot cut what is fantastic. I don't want to turn the American characters into the same person! Deanna and Lisa are supposed to blend together, Monica is supposed to become a little annoyed that they're so clueless, but weren't you paying attention? Annette is different! No, don't tell me I wouldn't think like that when I was seven! I was a precocious seven-year-old, you underestimate children.

Then I realize I sound like Monica's little kid self. ["No lo quieres, mi niña," she'd tell me. You don't want it. Of course I wanted it! Who was she to know what I did and didn't want?] I am stubborn about my story; I do not want to believe it has the potential to be improved by cutting my hard work. I do not want to think that I should replace a scene or-heaven forbid-just cut a couple scenes altogether and make it shorter. Perhaps you are right, like Mama in that scene. Most people did not tell me to cut the grocery store scene, or that I am wordy. In fact, some said I was succinct and that every scene seemed necessary. I'm pretty sure I have never been called succinct before.

So here's what I'll do.

I'm cutting two scenes. I switch back and forth between Spain and the US the whole time, so I can’t just cut one. I'm cutting the grocery store scene and I need to figure out a way to show more of what she thinks of America, but the scene adds a character (Maggie, most of you entirely ignored her and I didn’t characterize her much) and it really doesn’t help progress the story so I don’t think anyone will miss it. However, the Spain scene that I'm deleting is the one with Lourdes. Her character is still in the story a bit because mamá borrows vanilla from her and she writes letters because mamá has dementia, but the interesting aspects of Lourdes’ character have been removed. This also means that there is not huge back story about Monica’s father. I always tell people in my critiques that they should either completely develop something or not develop it at all, but here is a case when I think half-developing it makes sense, that Monica’s parents don’t have to have married out of necessity but that the reader can be aware that her father is not necessarily the most devoted or considerate man around. So now my story is just over 12 pages (originally it was 17) and I have room to bring in mamá’s disease a little more, to explain myself better, to expand on the present action because you all said that was lacking. I don’t like cutting but maybe Annie Dillard is right, that sometimes you have to learn to delete.