Details. Randomly.

So I had some kind of fabulous story idea on friday in school and then I went straight to a retreat and I never wrote it down and... I'm sure you know how that goes.
I guess I'm supposed to write that story about how my overweight bus driver meets Ben's sumo wrestler but I am not awake enough for such nonsense. You'll see tomorrow I suppose.


So I think I should keep an ongoing detail list because once I start something like a blog or a list, it comes up more and more in my thoughts and I need to write down examples of details (real or made up in my head) that come up or they will POOF disappear completely. Some of them aren't sensory details, they're the way people act. or random descriptions. And I wish I could flag posts or something because this list will keep expanding for a long time.

• Someone who says goodbye with "ciao!" and it sounds totally natural because she used to live in Italy and she doesn't think she's being foreign when she does it. I can't even say goodbye in English without it sounding awkward (I try to make it two syllables: bye-ee) and in other languages it just sounds ridiculous
• Guilt about your unhappiness/selfishness... like when that sophomore gets the solo you really wanted and you could just kill her because you honestly think you're better at it and deserve it, but at the same time she's really sweet and you feel horrible just being annoyed at her because it's not like she's a bad person or even like it's her fault she got picked ahead of you. And it doesn't have to be a solo, it could be a scholarship, a homecoming date, a varsity spot, an internship... what have you.
• Have you noticed that when you set your mind against something, you have no chance of liking it? Like a good friend at church doesn't like choir but her family's really involved and her two older sisters did it and so her mom requires it but because she's set her mind against liking it, everything the director does bugs her and every time we get a new song she dislikes it and everyone else in the choir loves it but all of us choose to be there. I've noticed that a lot lately, that people's disliking of things is very self-feeding and when you ask someone why they don't like _____, their reasons are the dumb things that shouldn't matter, and wouldn't matter if they didn't have that attitude to begin with.
• Flavored mini marshmallows. Why? The entire point of a marshmallow is to be a puff of sugar, nothing more. But my mom bought them because they looked fun. No actually, they look (and taste) gross. And because of this, they've been sitting in the cabinet for quite a while now. Soon they'll start to take on a new flavor...
• Hair that is too long to be bangs and too short for a ponytail. I have a bunch of hairs like that... not like anything that used to be bangs or that I cut that way, just some of my hair never seems to grow past that point and then I run and I have random hair sticking out in messy curls on the top of my head and it looks a tad ridiculous.
• Doing things out of habit instead of because you actually want to. Like being on a team because it's your life/social group/something you've done since you were 3, and not giving a second thought to if you actually enjoy it. Or, when you do, pushing the thought out of your head as soon as it comes because somewhere you think you couldn't bear to leave. You could be wrong, though, if you actually thought about it. Some friendships are that way too. And plenty of marriges. It's all rather unfortunate.
• "It seemed Maurine's greatest fear was an empty funeral. Death was no concern, but she was constantly trying to make herself valued, pushing her love and shoving her friendship onto the confused masses, who could never quite understand why she chose them to join her eclectic social group. In reality, neither did she, but she felt that she was doing them an honor by seeking their friendship and giving each one a sense of value when it was clear that was her own goal. Sometimes, though, there are cases in which it is better to leave a child at home than let its mother drag it to an event- wedding, funeral, what have you- kicking and screaming, and with little understanding of why they are there. In Maurine's case, none of them quite understood why they came to visit the grave." BLEH THAT ONE NEEDS A LOT OF WORK but I put quotes around it because... it is not a note from me, it's a note from a narrator. And I can figure out how to phrase myself better some other day.
• Our cats used to be fit. We kept the cat food on the laundry machine and they'd jump up on it whenever they wanted to eat. If they ate too much and stopped being able to jump, that was alright because they just wouldn't get any food and they'd lose the weight soon enough. It was a cycle and it worked out well. We were proud of ourselves for keeping such good cats. Nowadays, neither of our cats can jump that high. We keep their diet cat food on top of the laundry machine as always, but we also keep a stool there just so they can get up. It gets in the way in our crowded laundry room, but we've learned to put up with it. Five years and three cats ago we would never have accepted such nonsense